Lifetime Happiness Ranks High Over Wedding Day Bliss
It's kind of unfortunate, but there is only one food tasting at the Country Springs Hotel between now and our wedding, and it's happening next week, on the 14th.
I'm very thankful that I have such a tremendous family who is going out to the location for that, since I'm in Orlando and I already have a flight booked to Fort Wayne for Thanksgiving on the 16th. If I had known way back whenever that there was a tasting on that day, I would have flown directly into Wisconsin, or possibly to Fort Wayne first and then driven with my family up north to attend the event.
There also happens to be a Waukesha Bridal Expo on the 10th, which really might have been great for finding vendors. So actually, my parents are being extra super wonderful, driving all that way and staying for both events.
It sounds like they will enjoy it, which is great, and I'm very thankful for that, and of course I trust their judgment when it comes to making these wedding decisions. I am trying my best to stay positive about the whole thing, because in truth, it is disappointing to me that Naveen and I won't be able to taste and select our favorite menu items for our own wedding. Nor will either of us be available to do cake tasting or other vendor selecting, so it seems. It's easy to sometimes feel like we're just going to show up without having to put in any decisions - which would probably be a blessing (considering how busy we are trying to nail down our careers), except it would be nice, in a perfect world, to be able to provide input and be a part of the process (especially at our age - I think if I were younger I would go along with things more readily without worrying or feeling so distant).
Naveen seems to have already accepted that things will be decided for us - not simply "because he's the guy" - he knows that there's nothing he can do with his strict school schedule to compete with. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like a speck of dust floating around, attracted to many destinations but not enough to really land anywhere yet.
Generally I've been very happy here in Orlando with Naveen, especially this past month or so, as we've been finishing our marriage prep classes and developing good habits together (working out, taking care of chores, spending quality time together and separately, etc). But all this came up tonight while I was trying to buy plane tickets home for Christmas. We're flying into Fort Wayne, probably separately for schedule reasons, but after the holidays, Naveen must come back to school and I'm going to San Francisco for my graduation from Animation Mentor. Beyond that, I'm not sure whether to fly back to Orlando or to go back to Fort Wayne and stay there indefinitely - job hunting, packing up my old room at my parents' house, and possibly taking trips up to Wisconsin to look at whatever vendors I can.
I think ultimately that's what's going to happen, but it's amazingly difficult to imagine being apart from Naveen again, even if only for a month or two. Home is where the heart is, that's for sure. Just the thought of being away for a few weeks is hard to take. But the reality is, he has a major project class coming up then (like he had this summer), and there's a good chance it will get lonely and quiet around the apartment. Other realities - I'm going to be turning 25 on January 16, and as much as I'd like to spend time with Naveen on my birthday, I'd also like to spend it with my family and friends (maybe a last big bash before I forget about birthdays altogether)! I'll need to spend some time at the BMV of course. And, assuming my parents sell the house, I'll really need to have things taken care of up there. Who knows - maybe I can be back to Orlando by Valentine's day - but we'll have to wait and see.
This wedding above all is going to mark the beginning of our life together, strengthening the powerful connection we already share, and I should remember that. I have to realize that unfortunately I can't invite everyone I could possibly want to be there that day, and I can't taste-test the supposedly wonderful foods we're going to eat that night, but I can decide here and now how much I am loved and how much in love I am, and if I've prepared correctly for our whole marriage and not simply the first day of it, I think I'll be happy no matter what.
I'm very thankful that I have such a tremendous family who is going out to the location for that, since I'm in Orlando and I already have a flight booked to Fort Wayne for Thanksgiving on the 16th. If I had known way back whenever that there was a tasting on that day, I would have flown directly into Wisconsin, or possibly to Fort Wayne first and then driven with my family up north to attend the event.
There also happens to be a Waukesha Bridal Expo on the 10th, which really might have been great for finding vendors. So actually, my parents are being extra super wonderful, driving all that way and staying for both events.
It sounds like they will enjoy it, which is great, and I'm very thankful for that, and of course I trust their judgment when it comes to making these wedding decisions. I am trying my best to stay positive about the whole thing, because in truth, it is disappointing to me that Naveen and I won't be able to taste and select our favorite menu items for our own wedding. Nor will either of us be available to do cake tasting or other vendor selecting, so it seems. It's easy to sometimes feel like we're just going to show up without having to put in any decisions - which would probably be a blessing (considering how busy we are trying to nail down our careers), except it would be nice, in a perfect world, to be able to provide input and be a part of the process (especially at our age - I think if I were younger I would go along with things more readily without worrying or feeling so distant).
Naveen seems to have already accepted that things will be decided for us - not simply "because he's the guy" - he knows that there's nothing he can do with his strict school schedule to compete with. On the other hand, I sometimes feel like a speck of dust floating around, attracted to many destinations but not enough to really land anywhere yet.
Generally I've been very happy here in Orlando with Naveen, especially this past month or so, as we've been finishing our marriage prep classes and developing good habits together (working out, taking care of chores, spending quality time together and separately, etc). But all this came up tonight while I was trying to buy plane tickets home for Christmas. We're flying into Fort Wayne, probably separately for schedule reasons, but after the holidays, Naveen must come back to school and I'm going to San Francisco for my graduation from Animation Mentor. Beyond that, I'm not sure whether to fly back to Orlando or to go back to Fort Wayne and stay there indefinitely - job hunting, packing up my old room at my parents' house, and possibly taking trips up to Wisconsin to look at whatever vendors I can.
I think ultimately that's what's going to happen, but it's amazingly difficult to imagine being apart from Naveen again, even if only for a month or two. Home is where the heart is, that's for sure. Just the thought of being away for a few weeks is hard to take. But the reality is, he has a major project class coming up then (like he had this summer), and there's a good chance it will get lonely and quiet around the apartment. Other realities - I'm going to be turning 25 on January 16, and as much as I'd like to spend time with Naveen on my birthday, I'd also like to spend it with my family and friends (maybe a last big bash before I forget about birthdays altogether)! I'll need to spend some time at the BMV of course. And, assuming my parents sell the house, I'll really need to have things taken care of up there. Who knows - maybe I can be back to Orlando by Valentine's day - but we'll have to wait and see.
This wedding above all is going to mark the beginning of our life together, strengthening the powerful connection we already share, and I should remember that. I have to realize that unfortunately I can't invite everyone I could possibly want to be there that day, and I can't taste-test the supposedly wonderful foods we're going to eat that night, but I can decide here and now how much I am loved and how much in love I am, and if I've prepared correctly for our whole marriage and not simply the first day of it, I think I'll be happy no matter what.
posted by Laura "Sko" | 11/08/2007 07:22:00 PM
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